Rotating Custody

Co-Custody Connection is the online home for Rotating Custody. Find out why Rotating Custody is in the best interest of our children. We offer valuable information that most people, including Judges and Attorneys, do not know about Joint Physical and Rotating Custody.

Our children deserve to have both parents in their lives. Rotating Custody is the new trend; more and more states are recognizing it nationally.

Father Fights For Rights

I'm writing this story to give everyone who is going through a divorce the strength, faith, courage and confidence to push forward and fight for your rights to be with your children on equal time.

My divorce began in June of 1997. I realized early, as I sat in the judge's chamber, that gaining equal rights to my son who was 3 at the time was not going to be easy. My marriage of six years was irretrievably broken. However, my relationship with my son was not. I will never forget the judge telling me, "You have no right to be with your son Mr. Graham. You work from 7:30am until 5:00pm and also participate in your family business in the evenings. You have two days to move out of the family home, and you shall have visitation (2) weekends a month and evening visitation (not over night), one night each week."

In disbelief I ran my fingers through my hair and nodded my head from side to side thinking, "I can't believe I'm not going to be with my son as I once was." Suddenly the judge shouted, "Don't you shake your head at my ruling, do you understand me?" As I began to explain that I wasn't shaking my head at her ruling, she shouted, "Don't even speak to me!" As I turned to my attorney for support, he only wrote on a piece of paper, "weird". Quickly I responded,"Your Honor (2) weekends are not enough time to be with my son!" Fortunately for me, my plea for an additional weekend was achieved.

With tears in my eyes and thinking only of my son, I walked from the judge's chamber feeling beaten-up, scarred, and wounded. I turned to my attorney and ask, "Is there anything we can do about the biased comment the judge directed toward me?" My attorney said, "We could file a motion to disqualify her, however, it's not something attorneys like to do."

As I stood in the lobby of the courthouse that day I vowed to myself that I would never give up. Just because my marriage was irretrievably broken, doesn't mean the relationship with my son was broken.

As I walked through the courthouse in a total daze my attorney grinned and said, "Some people's best day in court was the day they lost. Stop by my office next week so we can talk. You do understand there will be additional fees involved!" Somehow, after being totally silenced in the judge's chamber, this pathetic example of an attorney, seemed only concerned with his billfold.

To make a long story short, I didn't give up! For the next two and one-half years I focused on what was most important to me, to be with my son on equal time. Like all other men who go through divorce, I was faced with a very unjust legal system. During this time I was up against the most biased women judge in the County. I fired one attorney and had two attorneys quit on me. I successfully defended myself for several months with no attorney, guided myself through three mediations designed to make anyone throw in the white towel, had a custody evaluator tell me I was a role model father and then slanted her reports against me. A fourth attorney withdrew due to his own personal family problems. And then, I finally succeeded in getting exactly what I had focused on.

In November of 1999, after many attorneys said I didn't stand a chance, I got Rotating Custody. My son now spends one week with Dad and one week with Mom and has an overnight with each parent on a Wednesday on the off week. I've officially got the title of Co-primary Custodian, which is exactly what my ex-wife has. No one holds the single title of Primary Custodian; we both hold the same rights and responsibilities.

No longer do I have to hear, "I'm the Primary Custodian and I've got the upper hand." No longer do I have to wait one-hour when picking up my son. And, no longer is my precious time with my son restricted or compromised like it once was.

I'm now able to be an active parent in my son's life. We wake up in the morning, eat breakfast, and I take him to school. I pick him up after school and I help him with his studies.

We can play baseball, go fishing, or go to a ball game. With Rotating Custody a child has both parents in his/her life just as they once had before the divorce.

I'm a strong believer that most attorneys are overloaded with many cases and continue to follow the old trends in divorce law. Many of them just take your retainer and do little or no work. When you put pressure on them, they withdraw due to irreconcilable differences.

Our children deserve to have both parents in their lives. Rotating Custody is the new trend; more and more states are recognizing it nationally.

Your attorney is merely a tool. If you don't provide them with the right information and fight for your rights, he/she will continue to follow the old trends. Knowledge is extremely powerful.

During the two and one-half years that I defended my rights as a father I gained a great deal of knowledge about Rotating Custody.